Lord I Want To Be Enough

 If you are any thing like me you want to feel you are enough! And you want to know someone sees you that is what God has been teaching me lately! And  for me that's a feeling I have been feeling lately! I found myself so carried away that I have forgotten how much control  my Father has! And this is huge to remember especially in the world we live in because lately I've thinking about all the struggles around me. I have been trying to carry everything when it's God's job to carry the world. I forget that He just allows me to be apart of it! And like I have mentioned many times when I have wrote or talked that God is breaking me down to surrender.
In that note I want to say surrender is soo hard!  I've been trying to run in circles but all my Father has been wanting is me!  I've been so concerned  over the little things. I've put my beauty in other things when God should be my first love! And even today I felt my heart tug on me because even though I have been on this high from the worship last night I have been soo consumed  in others hurt instead of trusting them to the One who holds all! Like I mentioned in my last blog God is teaching me He has not called me to perfection but He has called me to be His and in Him I am perfected!
 That is the lesson I am slowly learning even as I think about the worship last night with Kari Jobe and Rend Collective! I have forgotten the same freedom I felt last night in worship I can have it  here too ! I can have it where ever I go! And I can know He will show me where to go. It is like the verse I just read Matthew 6:33 that I must seek Him first!
To which I must own I haven't been so good at lately it  but with this blog God is reminding me as I write to you God is challenging me" Where will I put my energy ? Am I going to see myself as enough in Him ? Am I going to accept Him as enough?"
I think this can apply to any of us no matter our location because I am not going to lie I miss my home town soo much. I miss the  hikes, the root beer stand, the warmer weather, flowers, the falls, feeding ducks with my grandpa, singing in my church choir but I really  know that in end I must learn to let God  be my ultimate satisfaction and I must choose to see the beauty in all! I must choose to  keep going because  I am too blessed to stress as one of my room mates Yvonne told me! I must pick up and go! I must  realize I am me and that it's enough just as one of my favorite songs  Beautiful by Bethany Dillon goes which is what I will end with today !