Let Go & Be

 The past couple of weeks or I should say few months God has been teaching me about control.  I'll be honest with you  graduating college has been a strange spot for me. It was like a wake up call that life was beginning in the real world and  I was now stepping into the unknown even more because  at least when I was on campus I knew I would have classes and that was my place. Then because God has a great sense of humor  I ended up  in a place of not knowing to  knowing. I mean it has seem like a cycle because I went from graduating to being in Colorado to  a call center til the time I landed in NY for a commitment of being here for one year. This my friends is a lot to take in but it's not necessairly a bad place becaue it pushes me to rely on God!

And it's been also pushing me into surrendering my dreams to God which is supper hard because I have had so many  ideas in life that in the honest truth I have had to learn to let go. I would never have imagined God calling me to NY but He did!  

I would never have told you that I would come here for a year if you asked me  during my first trip to NY on mission with the 1:8 team but that's just how God rolls! He puts us in the unpredictable! I still don't know what that means  to be honest. I just know God is teaching me to be a woman that says " Yes." So,  as I write to you I write this saying that   God is soo good at pushing us to trust Him because  I feel like NY is definately putting me in more training of that mindset.

I think it is also pushing me out of my comfort zone in can I accept God's direction even though I don't know whats ahead especially with the whole idea I am turning 25 in April which honestly has been such a big deal for me for some reason haha but again God is good and so we got to trust! This is a lot friend because  if I really think about my desires or start looking at where others are my age I loose sight of that God is in control and He knows how my life flows!

 I'm not going to lie surrendering control is hard because if you asked me of my idea life I would tell you these are a few things I've desired:

*  To  be in full time ministry

*  To  work with women in ownership of their worth & beauty

* To work with youth

*  To  maybe be a counselor or  work with college students  in some capacity

* To be married to a man who  I can be a team with but loves Jesus more than me

* To adopt or have kids of my own

* To  maybe work in a coffee shop as ministry 

 * To speak ( Teach)

* To be a facilitator in Churches with growth if that is the correct phrasing

I mean lets get real the list grows ! And I am not sharing this as " Whoa, lets look at the single girl as being discontent" I am sharing this because even the most content single people have desires too or so as in my opinion. At the same time I love  the place I am in because even though control is hard for me as mentioned I love it because the stage I am in gives me an opportunity to grow in ways I may not if I were with someone.

At the same time this doesn't mean  I don't want a relationship or any of these other dreams. I just know for now God has given me the opportunity to have the life of  the unpredictable and so it is  strange space but  again I get to learn more about my reliance on God in the unknown and I get  to learn to walk in God's control and not mine. So in all my ramblings I like to share this as  praise of this stage in life and  process of learning!