May God Be Our Calm

 Happy New Year Friends !
I can't believe we are in 2014 ! My mind and heart can hardly keep up! To be honest with you these two weeks almost , my heart has held what seems like fifty billion emotions ! Luckily my Father is big enough to hold my heart even when  I hardly pause to sit still. I would have to admit sitting still these past couple of days have been hard for me because while part of my brain is trying to stay present, I have another part of my brain coming to the realization I will be 25 this year in April. And I am sure those of you are reading this are thinking , " Slow Down".
However, for some reason I find that hard because the thoughts that have flushed through my head are, " Am I really an adult? Is this all going down?" I mean being in my twenties never seem like a big deal til 25 but maybe it's just me. I don't know.
I just know when I think about where I am at I think  how weird is this that I am fixing to turn 25 ?; and yet my life still feels like its in transition. Yet , another part of me is wondering if NY is just seasonal  or does this year mean more!
I really don't  know because as mentioned I think my first blog I would have never imagined coming to NY but NY has made me realize that all I can really do at the end of all my  rambling thoughts is be present. And the is a truth I have known and heard but it's so hard. I am honestly still trying to figure out what that means. I say this because while I am trying to pause I am also trying to just be where I am at . I am telling you having a brain like this makes me want to switch brains some days. I mean I think for any one who has came to NY you know that you truly learn flexibility because for example, you can't  control the Subways.
You have to think ahead. It's not like where you have a car and you know you'll be there in so many minutes.
You have to be open that there there may be delays or  deal with rush hour and transfer. I mean you seriously have to realize that NY doesn't adjust to you and that you have to adjust to NY.I really can't explain it unless you have been here. I mean there are some days I feel like I am in a foreign place because  I have to adjust myself to so many things beside the subways. I have to think about even little things like food because there are some ingredients I can't buy or  simple things like such. For me NY is a whole other world on top of the fact this is the first time I would really ever maybe consider myself being out on my own.
I mean I just graduated college last year and I went from Colorado, a month at the call center to  NY.
Talk about craziness!
I am telling I am learning what it means to really know your heart is in God's hands! And it is tough but I share all this because  life is hard at times and the reality no matter how much I try to sort out my thoughts I can only be  where I am at trusting God!  So, I would tell you that that your not alone and  hopefully my blog can encourage someone else because sometime I think our brains seem like they are just floating around but at the end of the day we just have to sit! And so with all this said I ask you to pray for me and perhaps this has maybe even touched someone today who needed to know they are not alone because I know sometimes my mind is soo crazy and this is how I feel. So, may God be our calm !